Thinking Back

/ Monday, June 27, 2011 /

Regretfully, it has taken me a while to write a new blogpost.
The last few weeks in Brooklyn were amazing, but it still felt like it wasn't enough. Ofcourse, the time spend would never have been enough; and time flies when having fun. Meeting one's soulmate in a city across the ocean and then having to go back home doesn't make a goodbye any easier, either. I'd known leaving was coming up since I first arrived, but when it was finally there it felt unexpected, and unreal. It's not that I have any doubt about coming back to America. But after having such an amazing time I very much resisted being back home.

We took off on the plane on Sunday evening, and arrived at Amsterdam on monday morning. After sleeping through the day and drinking with my brother at night, I had to start afresh on Tuesday. I had an important critique coming up on Friday, which helped me to stay busy during the day - while skyping kept me busy at night.
I was completely drained after my presentation, but at least I knew I did well. I took the weekend off to regain some strength and now a whole week has passed.

Plans are being made about my return, and in the meantime I'm moving back in with my parents to save money. If that ain't radical, I don't know what is!

P.S. I miss you.

Home away from Home

/ Tuesday, June 7, 2011 /
The date of me leaving this continent is getting closer and closer.
It is not something I look forward to; my friends and I have even decided not to bring it up. When we do talk about it (quite occasionally), I sigh and they try to convince me to just not leave, ever. I believe they are planning on stealing my passport and duct taping me to the stairs..
Even though the idea sounds very appealing, I know my old life is waiting for me to be picked up and lived again.

It really does feel like my old life. Naturally I want to see my friends and my family again But the thought of going back to my own place, where I live alone, scares me. I'm spoiled by the days and nights spend with others, and this was a very happy way to live for me. Besides that, going back to work and and meeting with the responsibilities I used to have is not a thing I look forward to at all.

That being said, I am ever so grateful for all the people I've met and everything I have been able to learn here. I do feel like in a lot of aspects, I've been able to better myself. This may have cost struggle, but I will benefit from it for the rest of my life. Although I suppose the actual test is still to come back in the Netherlands, I look forward to proving myself with my graduation project. Even if not to anyone else but myself.

After graduating next spring, I plan on coming back to the United States. I never expected this country to appeal to me so much. I want to see everything there is to discover. Maybe I'll have my driver's license, and I will drive my own route through the states. Maybe I'll settle in a city that's not New York. Maybe it really is the country of endless possibilities.
What's sure is that if I'll ever be homesick,  it will be when I get back home.


/ /

I met him on the bus a couple of weeks ago. I purposely sat down two rows behind him and stole some glances while listening to him talk to a lady in front of him. I kept thinking I would never forgive myself if I didn't take his portrait.

I thought of getting off the bus when he would, but I kinda' wanted to go home and wasn't sure he would let me take his picture anyway...
When I clicked open the viewfinder on my Rollei, he looked back at me and said: 'Wow. That's one oldschool camera, isn't it?'.
He smiled at me. We talked, and he let me take a couple of photos. I asked him about the headband, and he told me that he just started a new brand called Blessed Addiction. He'd put all of his money in it, but he told me it was hard to set something up.

He had the friendliest smile. Under his headband, there was a portrait of the devil.


/ Thursday, June 2, 2011 /
I sometimes visit a friend of the family who lives here in New York. Each time while walking from Union Square to her place, I suddenly realize where I am.
It always makes me so happy. I look up at the sky, past the towering buildings and the many windows behind which New Yorkers live their lives. Somehow the route does something to me.

Walking back in the evenings, I saw many beautiful things in the dark. Whatever scenery you're used to during the day, at night it always seems to change into something more. Streetlights seem to draw you in while shadows are continuously shifting. A sense of possible danger makes you more aware.
You start to see things.

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