A Soft Spot

/ Sunday, July 31, 2011 /
                                                                    ©  Alessandra Sanguinetti

This is a piece included in Sanguinetti's work The Adventures of Guille and Belinda and the Enigmatic Meaning of their Dreams. The whole piece of work is amazing, but this photo claimed a permanent place in my memory immediately. I love how the light brings the little girl and the goat together, in being. The way the shadow of the goat's ear defines the light that brightens it's eye is perfect. The girl must have had something in her hand to keep the animal interested, though how it holds it's heads looks natural. At the same time I like to think of them as having a special human/animal bond; I've never met a goat that is so cuddly. 

I wonder how symbolic it is that it is specifically this goat, to be embraced by the girl. With it's big horns it could be a representation of evil, a devil in sheep's (goat's) clothes. Personally, I've never trusted goats. I see nothing in their eyes.

Red Lights Flashing

/ Wednesday, July 20, 2011 /
Every week is in it's own phase of high or low. I feel like a tiny ship riding high waves of an angry ocean, sailing towards the horizon. But every time the storm clears, I think I've reached my destination, and I drop my anchor. And every time clouds gather and the sky turns grey, I get tired. Tired because I've fooled myself into thinking I was there, again and again.

                                                                              Dog days, Bogotá ©  Alec Soth

I meditate. Eighty-five percent of the time, I meditate twice a day, for twenty minutes. Sometimes more, if my blind eyes don't see the red lights of our silent alarm flashing. Sometimes less, if I get up too late.
Saturdays are free. On Monday I have a class that teaches in Zen Meditation.
I'm not going to explain what one does when they practice this, but I will say I've been struggling lately. I have a hard time focusing. A hard time to be strict towards myself, and keep counting. And now the twenty minutes become a frustration, a disappointment, instead of a joy.

One of the best things about it is, though, that twice a day you get the chance to start over. To try again.
When does that ever happen?

So, I will not be angry with myself for feeling like this tonight. 
Tomorrow is a new day.

Ongoing story

/ Saturday, July 9, 2011 /
I want to write more about Hope. The last time I visited her was two weeks before I would leave, and I promised to her that I would see her again before I got on the plane. And I thought I really would. I really wanted to. But somehow, when in the last week my best friend was at my side, I never had the time; or took the time to make the effort. Even though I was all tied up in being with my friend from home, being with the friends I made in Brooklyn and accepting the fact I actually was going to leave, I felt incredibly guilty about it.
The guilt stopped me from contacting her sooner than I did, a couple of days ago. But when I finally did, the way she responded made me realize again what an amazing person she is. Hope has a lot of love in her heart.

These are some of the photos I made later on. I wanted to try and do something else than what I normally do, which is being the fly on the wall; nothing more than registrating with my camera. This time I took control and created the scene myself (except for the one with the baby, Justin was actually sleeping there).
I'm quite happy with the results so far, but the project is far from done.
Actually, this may be the first time I mentioned a project... More about that later.

As far as Hope goes, the story does not end. We are still talking and I have no doubt about seeing her again. Just as I have no doubt that I will return to Brooklyn, New York, and create some sort of life for me.

P.S. My 11" laptop is not calibrated, which means the photos may not be a 100% in tune. I did however buy my own Rolleiflex. Happy face!
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