Let's ignore the fact that I haven't posted in two months and that I'm about to graduate. I've talked a lot about my project of Hope, the young mother living in the projects of Brooklyn. But there is something else I created, that deserves some attention.
I went to visit friends from the past. I was very intrigued by the idea of these people, with whom I've shared intimacy and trust, and who have turned to strangers over time. We used to mean something to each other, influenced each other and shared secrets. With some I've played in the playground, we had class together and watched videos. We had sleepovers, ate chips and candy. As I got older, we stole things, drank cheap alcohol and wrote on the walls of my bedroom. But at a certain point our friendship started to fade, we stopped seeing each other. Now all we share is memories.
Though there is still some kind of intimacy left through our shared past, the obviousness of a friendship is gone. I felt good being with my old friends, talking about the memories we have and getting back the feeling of that time. But after I'd left them, I would feel a sting of loss. What we used to have is gone. And I wonder if I could get it back, if I tried. Sometimes I wish I would have still been part of their lives.